


navy blue silk hydrangeas

by amaguiis



Category: Ensemble Stars! (Video Game)
Genre: Angst, M/M, Major character death - Freeform, hanahaki
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-29
Updated: 2020-11-29
Packaged: 2021-03-09 21:46:56
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,803
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27783205
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/amaguiis/pseuds/amaguiis
Summary: haha hi eden
Relationships: Fushimi Yuzuru/Saegusa Ibara, Fushimi Yuzuru/Saegusa Ibara (implied)
Comments: 1
Kudos: 13





	navy blue silk hydrangeas

...it burned.

it all started when he was around 14. the only sense and semblance of warmth and love he felt vanished before his own very eyes. yuzuru’s outward appearance was none other than beautiful. his skin like creme and only marked with a single beauty mark lying under his eye. ibara could never get enough of it. though, the tables changed rather fast and had found himself dealing with yet again, the abrupt and bitter loss of someone dear to him.

though of course he would never show that to anyone, yuzuru was like family to him. he was the first person to treat him like… a person. like he was more than his abysmal upbringing. like he could amount to something. yuzuru was, to that day, the only person who ibara believe genuinely cared about him.

but alas, as per usual, he was wrong.

he can remember it vividly, walking up for the first time alone, wondering if yuzuru had already gone to get a morning shower like he occasionally did. usually he woke ibara up for one, but it depended on the events the night before. sometimes… he just let ibara sleep. there were times though yuzuru had to force him awake and make him shower, but it was rare. he’d gotten used to showering and taking care of himself on a schedule with yuzuru here, since he didn’t let him slack at all. 

assuming he had just grabbed a shower without him, ibara went back to sleep, knowing yuzuru wouldn’t leave him asleep for first count. well. he did. the loud banging at his door woke him up within seconds and he scrambled down to the floor from the top bunk. his back hit the cold cement wall with a sigh. this had never happened before. why didn’t yuzuru wake him up? 

now that he thinks about it…. yuzuru was never at that count either. 

the day dragged on, ibara’s confusion only heightening as yuzuru was nowhere to be found during the second count, lunch, training, dinner, etc. he was matched with someone.. unsavory during his time training today. he didn’t go easy in ibara like yuzuru usually did. for the first time, he was in a serious amount of pain at the end. skipping dinner, he completed the final count and went back to his room.

he collapsed on yuzuru’s bed out of pure exhaustion and stared up at the bottom of the top bunk, pulling the blanket up to him.

..that’s when he felt his lungs constrict.

nothing unusual at first, just a cough. nothing unnatural. then, it got worse. he shakily stood and stumbled over to the previously shared bathroom and bent himself over the sink. god, he felt like death. was he getting sick..? a fever perh- and then he spat it out.

a petal?

two?

six?

seventeen?

he’d only heard about this in stories. though, the petals were too coated in his own blood to be able to make out a color. so, with bloody hands, he turned on the sink and washed them off quickly, sinking down to his knees upon realization. how ironic. 

navy blue silk hydrangeas.

ha. i guess yuzuru was bound to stay with him one way or another.

it burrows into him the seriousness of this situation, he now was suffering with an ailment that was bound to be found out sooner or later.

and it was.

it was a few months after the initial realization. he had been good about hiding the petals and leaves and suppressing his coughing, but every jab to the chest during training hurt so much more. until one day, it was just too much and he puked up an entire flower. not just petals, the whole thing. his superior kicked him down, pushing a boot onto his stomach roughly. ibara remembers not being able to breathe. the suffocating, yet relieving feeling of the pain at his chest subsiding for a minute to focus on the pain of the boot. he succumbed to the feeling of breathlessness, thinking that this was his final minute or two (because his senior certainly looked pissed that he was matched with a physically impaired kid). well. to Ibara’s dismay, the man was pushed off and he got to take a full, deep, and painful breath. he scrambled back.

he wasn’t there much longer after that.

-

moving to the present.

after ibara got out of that hellhole of a military facility, he had access to a lot of things to ease his pain. painkillers, cough drops, adequate medical service. you know. the usual.

ibara knew this; from the moment he spit up one petal, he was destined to die.

he threw up petals in private, bile burning his throat as it always had. you get used to the feeling of acid clawing at your insides, really. 

alas, it was bound to make itself known. but during a live? cruel.

eden’s music was blaring in his ears, his head ringing as hiyori and nagisa started their lines in the genesis. is that yuzuru in the crowd? then, jun with “if you seek it too, then obey.” his legs felt weak and his chest felt tight. it was getting a lot harder to see. he started “and we’ll lead y-” he gagged. a combination of things happened then. his legs gave out and he collapsed on the floor. 

ibara woke up in a bright hospital room, iv pushed in his wrist and vitals… well. maybe not normal, but they were certainly there! he stayed there, eyes closed and listened to the people around him, trying to differentiate the voices.

“...it was rather surprising to see him in such a state.” nagisa.  
“mhm~! i’m glad he’s seemingly fine though.” hiyori.  
“it certainly was a shit show.” jun.

“do any of you know why this happened?” ...yuzuru.

he could hear nagisa shuffle and yuzuru do the same suddenly, then quiet. 

“are these his, ran-sama?” 

ibara couldn’t handle this. he opened his eyes briefly and stares at what is now on yuzuru’s hands.

navy blue silk hydrangea petals.

his chest constricted again, having to lean over the bed so he could spit out more rancid petals, eyes darting to yuzuru in an angry manner. he spat another petal out. 

“Get out.”

yuzuru looked at him, empathy taking over his system as he kneeled to ibara’s level. his face was just as beautiful as the day he turned his back on him.

“ibara. talk t-“

“Get out.”

his usual playful venom is gone and is now seething with pure anger. yuzuru stepped back, sighing and placing a hand on nagisa’s shoulder when he reached there, muttering a “keep me updated.” nagisa nodded.

ibara glared at his unit mates, hostile demeanor drawing both members of eve to shortly take their leave. this left nagisa and ibara in the room together. it was quiet, besides ibara spitting up blood and flowers occasionally.

“...ibara.”

“don’t you dare.” was all ibara said, not making eye contact with nagisa at all. a sigh followed from the other man as he stood and watched over him for a second before taking his leave.

as soon as he did, ibara threw up at least two entire flowers, stems and roots clawing at his insides as he went through another draining episode of keeping up an act. he doesn’t really know when to stop. 

he curls up again like he did once before as a child and hugs the blanket close to him, body craving the warmth in it due to the general coldness of the hospital. the door slid open again and ibara whipped his head over to the doctor standing there. haha. this didn’t look good.

he took a seat next to ibara. and as soon as he began talking, ibara tuned him out (though a few words slipped though. sorry? final? parents?) he nodded at whatever nonsense the doctor said until he finally left him alone. ibara picked up his own chart. ha… he was in the last stage of hanahaki? the roots were finally clogging up his airways? 

ibara knew this now, and this finally; from the moment he spit up one petal, he was destined to die.

he’d known this. it was nothing new to him. but some stupid selfish part of him wanted to hold onto the love that he held because even then it was the brightest and most genuine emotion he had ever felt.

the night went by slow. his coughs and the flowers building up to where he was begging for it to just kill him off already.

and at one point.. it did.

the do not resuscitate o

there was nothing beautiful about how ibara died in a disgustingly sterile hospital bed covered in blood and a navy blue reminiscent. of course, it was sudden, but so was everything else. it was just.. time.

the hospital moved his body rather quickly and effectively. 

then, morning shone again, and yuzuru departed to the hospital in search of an ibara who would be more willing to talk now that the initial shock factor was gone.

he went in leisurely, getting his visitors pass quite easily as he made his way to the 5th floor and the 6th room. it was empty. His mind went to better things, was ibara released? his condition wasn’t as awful as he thought yesterday (to be fair, ibara kept that from all 4 of them). In any case, yuzuru went up to a doctor and tapped on his shoulder.

“excuse me, do you know where the patient who was in room 6 went? saegusa ibara?” the doctors face soured. Yuzuru… he didn’t like that. the doctor didn’t say much in his own but a quick explanation and a ‘sorry for your loss’. that didn’t stop yuzuru from going into the room and sitting in the chair next to the empty bed (which was made better than ibara ever could. he ran his hand along the sheets and bit onto his lip, holding back any semblance of tears. he shot a text to nagisa to come. so he had.. maybe 10 minutes. his barrier didn’t last though and he let a small amount of tears drop from his eyes.

he was taught that crying makes you weak. 

his hands ran over the waxy petals in his pocket, before standing, saying a prayer, and leaving with tears slowly dripping down his face.

now, years later, yuzuru wakes in his room at the Himemiya manor and does two things every morning upon his rising.

watering the navy blue silk hydrangeas that sit on his bedside  
putting on the necklace with a multiple year old pressed flower petal.

ibara died, but his memory never had to.

he just wished he could tell him beforehand.


End file.
